Monday, August 22, 2016

College Students are Crazy

School starts back up this week! I'm not sure whether to be happy or to cry. College students can be great--but they can also be crazy. One of my favorite Facebook friends (never actually met the guy) is an English professor who has captured some of the funniest conversations he has had with students. And as a 7-year veteran of teaching college, I can verify that students are often this clueless. Here are a few of his posts for your enjoyment:




Student: "Professor! Why did you give me a zero on the paper?"
Professor: "You EARNED a zero because your rough draft and your final draft were the same. It is clearly stated in the instructions that the final draft needs to have significant revisions. AND, I mentioned this in class at least three times."
Student: "But they were not the same!"
Professor: "Yes, they are. I use the compare feature in Word, and it shows me what is different."
Student: "I'm tellin' ya, they are not the same! For the final draft, I changed the date."
Professor: ". . ."
____


Professor: "When I worked in the TV industry, I had an employee who wanted to take three weeks vacation to go out of the country. He could, but it would use up all his vacation time, as well as his personal days."
Students: blank stares
Professor: "Two days before his vacation, he came to my office to ask for an additional day off because he needed a day to get ready for his vacation."
Student A: "That's stupid!"
Student B: "Yeah, he should just build that into his vacation time."
Student C: "Why are you telling us this?"
Professor: "Next week is Spring Break. We will have class on Friday, and I will be taking attendance."
Student B: "But I won't be here on Friday. I'm leaving to go home for Spring Break."
Student A: "That's stupid!"
Student C: "I see what you did there."
  ___

Setting: The professor is teaching seven classes. He's instructed all his students to include their class and section number with each email, along with being specific with their questions.
Student: "Did u get my papers?"
Professor: "Which class are you in?"
Student: "english"
Professor: "That would make sense as I am an English Professor. Which English class and section are you in? Also, which papers?"
Student: "11o"
Professor: "I teach four sections of 110. Which section are you in? At the very least, what time does your class start?"
Student: "im not sure"
Professor: "In that case, I'm not sure if I received your papers."
Student: ". . ."
  ___

Setting: Student walks in two minutes after class has ENDED.
Student: "Professor. Sorry I missed class. That was my bad. I came in to see what I missed."
Professor: "Are you ok?"
Student: "Yeah. I just overslept."
Note: This is a 1 p.m. class which ends at 2:15 p.m.
___


After a small group presentation...
Professor: "Nicely done everyone. I have to admit that I'm not familiar with a type of music many of you mentioned. What is Trap music?"
Students: laughing and talking
Student 1: "It's good music. When you listen to it, it makes you feel like a drug dealer--in your head."
Student 2: "I have some on my phone if you want to hear it."
Professor: "Ah, I think I'll pass. But thanks for letting me know. But if I ever get the desire to know what a drug dealer is thinking, I'll know where to turn."
Student 2: "Just let me know. I'll hook you up."
Professor: " . . . "