Yesterday I watched this video and it made me think a lot (as well as cry).
I thought about me not being my body.
I thought about the importance of being a mom and how I could do better at that.
I thought about how the Lord uses trials to make us better people and increase our faith (if we let our trials do that).
But mostly I have been thinking that I wish I knew (as well as Stephanie knows) what my mission is here on earth. I have so much going on in my life, but now I am wondering how much of all that is really what the Lord wants me to do. I know most of it is... like my church calling and being a mom and a wife. But what am I supposed to be doing in each of these areas?
Why am I here?
What is my purpose?
Much of the time I feel like I am white knuckling it; just barely getting through one day at a time. And sometimes not even all that well. Maybe that is because I am doing too much of whatever instead of enough of what's right.
What I want is to really know what God wants me to be doing. And then to not worry about any of the rest of it.
I guess it all begins with asking.
Scripture of the day: Psalms 19:7
I think that asking yourself this question is almost more than half the battle. Having had a 20 year long major trial in my life (sorry Big Guy) I feel that I have been blessed in that I haven't had the luxury to do much other than what was most important (the past two years have been different in that way but perhaps not better). I think we all struggle with this. I am grateful,though, that I am aware that a lot of what we (as a society of women) do doesn't really matter much. It's all very attractive and pleasant and lots of fun and we need some of that in our lives--but it doesn't matter much beyond that. Do you read Mormon Women? www.mormonwoman.org I think you would really enjoy it there.
ReplyDeleteI hear you Rebecca! I used to think how wonderful it would be to wake up and just find a note every morning telling me exactly what I needed to do that day. One day I realized that the notes are all there in our scriptures. But we have to study and ask, like you said. Of course, then we get to choose. There's always a clincher, isn't there? I think you are doing a great job. You are a phenomenal woman.
ReplyDeleteI like to use my patriarchal blessing as a guide in my life to see if I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. It is easy to get caught up in things that aren't important--and things that are--and so I think it is nice to take some time each day--or at least each Sunday and reflect on what I have done and if it is in line with what I should be doing. I do find that whenever I ask, I get an answer.
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