Saturday, December 27, 2008

Police Beat #21

A day late...
but still funny (hopefully)!

Sept. 12: A custodian reported screaming near the MCKB at 4 a.m. The screams were later discovered to have come from a female student sprayed by a sidewalk sprinkler.

(Comment: I would scream and yell too if I saw the sidewalks being watered. Hasn't BYU gardening staff heard about the necessity of water conservation?)

Sept. 13: Police responded to a call reporting suspicious characters at the OIT construction site on the south end of campus. Upon arrival, the suspects were discovered to be construction workers.

(Comment: That's what happens when construction workers keep whistling and making catcalls to co-eds.)

Sept. 16: Police received a call that a 21-year-old male was distributing literature about veganism near the Tanner building. Police asked him to move off campus. The man was not associated with the university.

(Comment: Doesn't that guy know the Tanner building is where the business majors study? Veganism is a totally lost cause on those capitalists. Try the HFAC next time buddy.)

Sept. 18: A student was cited for retail theft after being found with three books valued at $130 from the Bookstore.

(Comment: Three books totalling $130! Must have been text books, in which case the the sheer cost of the books is criminal and the publisher(s) should be prosecuted.)

Sept. 21: A male student reported receiving vulgar and threatening text messages from out of state. The case has been turned over to detectives for investigation.

(Comment: {what the text message said:}

I saw yu on road 2day.
Yu were luking gorgeous,
Yr face so divine,
Yr walk so great.
My heart started to sing a lovely song: Who Let The Dog Out! lolz)

Scripture of the Day: 3 Nephi 1:15 - 17


  1. Oh. My. Heck. Don't they have anything better to do than investigate these trivialities? Funny trivialities but trivialities nevertheless. (I wish I had chosen a shorter word than trivialities)

  2. Last one. Whoever it was needs to let things go. Really, I don't see how it is 'threatening'.


Comments are much appreciated!