Police Beat #41

Hope Your Weekend is Off to a Great Start!

May 12: An individual found a pill container on the ground at the bus stop and called police, concerned that a child would pick up the pills. The officer collected about 50 various pills scattered on the ground and placed them in evidence.

(Comment: They are now in the candy dish on the Police Station receptionists desk.)

May 15: A passerby reported a suspicious couple in the rear seat of a parked car. When the officer arrived he found the male and female were just visiting with each other.

(Comment: Because, you know it is just impossible to visit with each other when sitting in the front seats of the car.)

May 12: A student reported graffiti at the east side of the Tanner Building on the sidewalk. It was painted in black letters with a white background, saying, “Capitalism Rulez.” Grounds crew quickly cleaned up the area.

(Comment: Maybe if it had used correct spelling it would have been allowed to stay. Those Tanner Building business students certainly don't want "Socialism Rulez" or "Communism Rulez.")

May 13: An individual called to report a strong odor coming from somewhere inside the Tanner Building. Officers discovered it was only the maintenance crew unclogging toilets, bringing out sewer gas odors. That section of the building was aired out.

(Comment: School administrators were going to start handing out deodorant samples if it turned out not to be the toilets.)

May 12: Three couples were seen on security cameras to have trespassed on the LaVell Edwards Stadium field. They had taken strips of plastic to spell out “Hi,” then replaced that with an obscene phrase. They also used a lawnmower. The suspects have not been identified.

(Comment: Somehow spelling 'heck' on the football field with strips of plastic doesn't qualify as obscene in my mind. But I guess the code of standards up their is more celestial than I recall.)

Scripture of the Day: Isaiah 49:23