The Police are Off-Duty

Sorry for no Police Beat this week--The Daily Universe must be on vacay or something because there were none published this week. Or maybe it's the BYU police themselves on break. Instead, here is a fun David Letterman Top 10 List to get you a laugh for the weekend. And it even goes with the monthly theme. Wahoo!

Top 10 Things You Don't Want to Hear From Your Kids on Father's Day

10. "And you are?"

9. "Father? We always kind of assumed you were our mother."

8. "I'm supposed to give you a gift to thank you for ruining my life?!"

7. "Hey dad, on your special day, how 'bout updating your will?"

6. "It's not just a nose hair trimmer, it's a nose and ear hair trimmer."

5. "All eight of us got you a subscription to US Weekly, so you can read about how you're cheating on mom."

4. "It's a restaurant, dad; they require a shirt."

3. "I know you don't play golf, but golfballs were easiest to shoplift."

2. "It's nice to go through the motions like this every year."

1. "Here's a couple bucks. Get yourself a McDLT."

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Scripture of the Day: D&C 83:4