Police Beat #43

Welcome Friday!

(SO glad it's here!)

May 29: A urinal in the men’s restroom in the TMCB was torn from the wall. There are no suspects.

(Comment: Whoever did it probably did not realize they were not supposed to sit on it.)

May 30: Occupants in a white truck were squirting people with water squirt guns in the Cannon Commons area around 11 p.m. The students were located by police and apologized.

(Comment: Memorial Day weekend madness strikes again! Everywhere else in the U.S. it's drinking and driving. In Provo it is squirt guns.)

May 31: A 13-year-old male living in Wymount Terrace called police from his cell phone to report that his mother was being abusive. The male was in the bathroom for a 30 minute time-out session and told police that he felt that punishment was too harsh.

(Comment: Bwahahahahaha! 30 minute time-out session too harsh--that kid doesn't know how good he's got it. At my house it would have been 30 minutes scrubbing the bathroom!)

June 3: An EFY counselor thought he could smell marijuana in Gates Hall around 11 p.m. He found three EFY participants smoking marijuana in the stairwell. Police said the juveniles will be charged.

(Comment: How did the EFY counselor know what the marijuana smelled like? Hmmm??)

June 4: A moose was loose on campus so police called the Utah Division of Wildlife Resources. Officials came and tranquilized the moose. However, before going down the moose damaged two vehicles in the parking lot across from the SAS Building.

(Comment: PETA protesters were seen picketing the SAS Building parking lot the following day while wearing moose antlers and chanting, "Loose the moose! Loose the moose!"

June 1: The driver of a campus golf cart was seen driving recklessly, almost hitting a pedestrian near East Campus Drive. The driver admitted his errors and was issued a citation.

(Campus: Maybe if they jacked up the campus golf carts like this one pedestrians would be less inclined to get in the way.)Scripture of the Day: D&C 75:28