Friday, June 19, 2009

Police Beat #44

Have a great weekend!

June 5: An adult male dressed in black was reported running through the quad and hiding behind dumpsters at Wymount Terrace. The man ran through the quad, dropped to his belly and army-crawled, then got back to his feet and continued running. He ran past a woman and said “Good morning” before jumping in a car and speeding off.

(Comment: Turned out to be a senior prepping for his interview with the CIA. His good manners will definitely help him get the job.)

June 6: An adult male dressed all in black was seen acting “stealthy and ninja-like” near Taylor Hall.

(Comment: Day two of CIA interview prepping.)

June 10: A juvenile was reported hurting a duck near the duck pond. The police were not able to locate the juvenile or the injured duck.

(Comment: Probably just a freshman. The duck, I mean.)

June 11: Graffiti was found in the women’s restroom of the WSC.

(Comment: It read, "That Brigham Young funky chicken thing is just a ruse!")

June 5: Copper piping was stolen from BYU’s storage complex near the LDS Motion Picture Studio. The piping is valued at $1,000.

(Comment: Why steal copper piping when there are so many pennies in fountains to be had for much easier? Stupid criminals.)

Scripture of the Day: D&C 68:25

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