Friday, January 23, 2009

Police Beat #25

Happy Friday All!
Those BYU hoodlums are back at it again...

Between Feb. 6 and March 3, University Police received a phone call from students’ parents. The parents gave police information about criminal activities their sons were involved in. The police found no criminal records for the students, but upon further investigation, discovered the two individuals were impersonating a police officer. Both individuals were cited in court for impersonating a police officer.

(Comment: Really they were just practicing for their Village People skit in the ward talent show.)

Graffiti was placed on a telephone booth at the bottom of the tunnel by Helaman Halls at about 7:30 a.m. on March 18. The message read, “WSU straight 17.”

(Comment: WSU? White, single umpire? ultramarine (yes, this is a word)? Ute? Unicorn?)

A purse was stolen at the JKHB on March 13. The purse contained $10, a marriage license, house and car keys, and prescription medicine. The victim is a student.

(Comment: What not to lose on the way to the temple to get married!)

At 2:50 p.m. on Feb. 26 near Heritage Halls, a 19-year-old female student called to report a suspicious individual. The suspicious male stopped her from his car, asking for directions to the student center. She informed him the WSC was just down the road. He then asked her if she would get into his car and take him there, and she told him she wouldn’t. He told her if she would go with him she could get out of the rain and he would buy her something. She refused, and the suspect drove away. The suspicious individual was described as a 20-year-old male in a military uniform, similar to a navy dress uniform. The car he was driving was described as an 80s style compact, possibly a hatchback. The victim said the car was full of garbage, and she thought she wouldn’t have been able to sit in the car because of all the junk.

(Comment: Note to potential kidnappers: clean your car out!)

An unidentified person broke into the Utah Academy of Dance, located on 1668 S. State in Orem last Tuesday. The alleged burglar entered through an unsecured door. Employees of the academy reported $30 in change and several CDs stolen from the business.

(Comment: {Hulsey, this comment is for you} I wonder what CDs were taken... probably Smashing Pumpkins' Siamese Dream, Deftones' Adrenaline, or Motley Crue's Girls Girls Girls what with them being banned from BYU dances and all.)

Two cans of whipped cream were found opened in the aisles in the Creamery on Ninth. Two other cans were found but were unopened. Two multipacks of toilet paper were also found half-melted on the shelf.

(Comment: Melted toilet paper? Is that possible? I will have to Google that...)

Scripture of the Day: 2 Corinthians 8:7


  1. missin my college days at the Big Blue- BYU.

    I got a kick when I was attending.. BYU had signs posted at the corners of walk-ways that read: "Cougars Don't Cut Corners". (Trying to encourage the student body to stay on the side walks and not walk on the corner tip of the grass near walk way intersections.)
    The next day or so... I noticed all the corners of the signs had been snipped off!

    Those rascally co-eds!

  2. Once again, the highlight of my week! Thanks for the personal shout out in the comments!

  3. Maybe it was really WSV--for white single vampire. It could happen!

  4. Once again a very funny posting and my first very good laugh of the day. I especially liked the kidnapping story/comment. I have to say having your marriage license stolen is a bit sad though.


Comments are much appreciated!